Again

I’m laying here again… awake. Tired with my mind running at 100mph, while your mind drifts to sleep.

I’m laying here again… frustrated. Angry with my heart pounding 100bps, while your breath reaches a slow rhythm.

I’m laying here again… hurt. My emotions spinning in circles at 100rpm, while your body is steady and still.

I’m laying here again…silently. Suffering the pain of not being heard, while hearing you snore at 100 decibels.

I’m laying here again… mad at myself. Full of contempt for myself. Wondering why I’m the one awake for the 100th night, while you sleep effortlessly.

I’m laying here again… questioning my mind. Questioning my body. Questioning my feelings. Questioning my motives. Questioning my mind. Questioning myself. Wondering why I feel the need to question myself 100 times, when you’ve already done it enough for the both of us.

Im laying here again… wishing I could say this was the first time…