Holy shit does it feel good to be back... for a minute I actually thought I wasn't fucked up anymore. But can people really change? Can people really heal? Can people evolve? FUCK YES. I am NOT the same. I HAVE changed and I HAVE healed from whole lot of the things that hurt me. … Continue reading The MostFucked is Fucking Back Baby!
Day #1 Journaling QuestionsWhat have you learned about You & White Privilege? What have you learned about you and your specific white privilege: How it shows up, how you hold on to it, how you use it (consciously or unconsciously) against BIPOC? More importantly then learning that I benefit from white privilege is that I … Continue reading me and white supremacy
What I don't want: To work for someone elseTo do work that doesn't fulfil meTo not experience life how and when I wantTo have my time dictated by forces outside of my familyTo have my income dependent on someone else's directionTo not have control over my own way in life The Inverse: To work for … Continue reading What Life Do I Want To Live?
This type of writing is out of character for me. I have written a poem of this sort a little while back but this is a look inside the animalistic part of my mind. The part of my mind that was awakened the night I met my wife for first time. To be 100% clear, … Continue reading Out of Character
This was my first encounter with my 2nd step-dad: I was with my 1st step-dad, who I will most likely never speak about again, when I first saw the man who would become the most influential man I would ever know. SD#1 and my mom had recently divorced and while I genuinely thought of him … Continue reading Step-dad; The Bad Ass Edition
It had been a year and a half since I last spoke to my mom. I've been working hard on myself and my marriage. I'm determined to break the cycles of behavior that my mother and father had passed on to me and to not pass them to my kiddo or let them kill my … Continue reading Changing Old Habits
Insanity: def. Doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting a different outcome. Fucking Insanity: def. Letting someone repeatedly put the words "i feel" in front of "like you" and believing that whatever they say after "i feel like you" has anything to do with you or their feelings.
If the worst day of my life was finding my Dad in the garage with a shotgun blast to the face then the 2nd worst day of my life was back in the early fall of 2009. That night my new neurologist, who I'd never met, called me to tell that my MRI showed lesions … Continue reading Multiple Fucking Sclerosis
Life, like riding a motorcycle, is most enjoyable while moving foward. Spending too much time looking back can be dangerous. On a motorcycle, the rule is to look where you want to go. You can't make a right turn safely if you're looking left. Same goes for life, it's difficult to steer towards positive relationships … Continue reading Motorcycle Wisdom
Recently while in my therapist office a memory came to me. It was of the time that my Grandma planned a trip for me, my cousin, my father, and my aunt to go to Las Vegas. Right off the bat, from the first paragraph, you can get the hint of how dysfunctional my family was. … Continue reading Who Had My Father Arrested