It had been a year and a half since I last spoke to my mom. I've been working hard on myself and my marriage. I'm determined to break the cycles of behavior that my mother and father had passed on to me and to not pass them to my kiddo or let them kill my … Continue reading Changing Old Habits
Insanity: def. Doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting a different outcome. Fucking Insanity: def. Letting someone repeatedly put the words "i feel" in front of "like you" and believing that whatever they say after "i feel like you" has anything to do with you or their feelings.
If the worst day of my life was finding my Dad in the garage with a shotgun blast to the face then the 2nd worst day of my life was back in the early fall of 2009. That night my new neurologist, who I'd never met, called me to tell that my MRI showed lesions … Continue reading Multiple Fucking Sclerosis
Life, like riding a motorcycle, is most enjoyable while moving foward. Spending too much time looking back can be dangerous. On a motorcycle, the rule is to look where you want to go. You can't make a right turn safely if you're looking left. Same goes for life, it's difficult to steer towards positive relationships … Continue reading Motorcycle Wisdom
Recently while in my therapist office a memory came to me. It was of the time that my Grandma planned a trip for me, my cousin, my father, and my aunt to go to Las Vegas. Right off the bat, from the first paragraph, you can get the hint of how dysfunctional my family was. … Continue reading Who Had My Father Arrested
I should have known better. I'm at the bar hanging out with a couple friends. One was a college friend and the other was a friend from highschool. We're at a spot where I knew some people who worked there. I didnt know these people because I was cool, charismatic, or had a lot of … Continue reading The narcissist and the codependent
"Spare the people the suspense". I said to myself when I woke up at 4am and opened the blank post. "The people", meaning the ## people that follow me as a courtesy because I follow them, are tired of your long winded posts. In the blog world you need to learn to get to the … Continue reading I’m Struggling
I woke up from a dream tonight that sent me deep into a rabbit hole of self inspection. Basically, over the last couple months, I've been exploring the patterns I follow. Tonight I think my subconscious was trying to open another door for me. The dream: I was sitting in a large-ish room with quite … Continue reading My choices
I'm laying here again... awake. Tired with my mind running at 100mph, while your mind drifts to sleep. I'm laying here again... frustrated. Angry with my heart pounding 100bps, while your breath reaches a slow rhythm. I'm laying here again... hurt. My emotions spinning in circles at 100rpm, while your body is steady and still. … Continue reading Again
First things first. If you are reading this and struggling with alcoholism please know that there are people that love you. You are NOT alone. You are not a fuck up or a loser. If you're ready for help, it's ready for you. ‐-----------------‐-------------------------------- You could feel the mood in the room change. The light … Continue reading Alcoholism – The Father Addition
