Step-dad; The Bad Ass Edition

This was my first encounter with my 2nd step-dad:

I was with my 1st step-dad, who I will most likely never speak about again, when I first saw the man who would become the most influential man I would ever know.

SD#1 and my mom had recently divorced and while I genuinely thought of him as my dad, he was using me as a pawn to keep in touch with my mom. They had married when I was ~3yrs old and divorced when I was ~8. This ended up being the first and last time I’d ever see him.

Anyway, we’re pulling into my Mom’s basement flat when we see a Chuck Norris look-alike walk out of the apartment and jump in his black Ford Ranger. Immediately SD#1 gets pissed and starts chasing Chuck Norris (my soon to be step-dad #2). Im in the passenger seat of a 1988 econoline van with a Barry Gibbs look-alike chasing down a Chuck fucking Norris look-alike. Even back then that amount of 80’s cheese was too much.

Gibbs finally catches up to Chuck but Chuck isn’t even flinching. Eyes straight forward with zero sign that he can even hear the guy next to him. After yelling obscenities and driving like an ass for another half mile, Gibbs gives up the chase and takes me home.

Little did I know at the time but had Gibbs managed to get my SD#2 to pull over he would have regretted the fuck out of it. SD#2, much like the man he looked like was not to be fucked with.

One of the many great things about my Dad was that there was never any question if he meant what he was saying or not. Even when he wasn’t speaking you knew he meant fucking business. He was 5’7″ ~160lbs but at the same time his presence was double that.

Turned out that what Gibbs perceived as weakness was pure unadulterated confidence. He knew that had he pulled over I would have had to witness him putting Barry Gibbs in his place.

He was a bad ass.